Ya Gotta Believe!

Each week I work with lots of kids of all ages and see lots of ballgames, and what I see tells me that these kids are feeling tons of pressure to perform. Some of this pressure they put on themselves, particularly since they're girls and girls can be extremely hard on themselves. I understand pressure and have certainly freaked out under it a few times more than I'd like to admit. But I have learned that what these players REALLY need from us isn't more pressure, but instead is to teach them how to successful perform when they're under it. Every time I work with players (mostly pitchers, who are under the most pressure on the team), I spend 90% of every lesson helping the player believe in herself by finding something she did right, instead of allowing her to recite the litany of things she knows she did wrong. Girls are particularly hard on themselves so we've got to help them find what they're doing right so they can repeat it, and then help them tell themselves what they need to do to fix whatever problem they're having.

Simply allowing a player to list all the "bad" things she might have done on the previous play doesn't do anything in the way of a strategy to fix it, and only makes the chance of it happening again pretty strong. I try to get the players to get away from referring to plays or pitches as Bad, I ask them to first tell me something Good about that pitch (or play). Only then will I ask them what they need to do to fix whatever they didn't like about it. It's a MUCH healthier way for them to think and keeps them from playing the Good and Bad game. Because it only takes a few "bad" pitches or plays and a player then believes she's a bad player - and we know what happens then.

The best approach I've found as a coach to try and deal with your player's mistakes is instead of getting mad any time a player blows it, or it looks to me like they don't care, I work from the point of view that every player is doing everything they can to perform successfully. I see my role as the confidence reminder, confidence builder, and confidence supplier. This goes for the most elite of softball players, the ones that are really GOOD, even they constantly want to believe they aren't. It's a very scary thing for most players I've dealt with to truly trust and believe in themselves. YOU are crucial in that process. Players must trust that you believe in them when they fail, in order for them to begin believing in themselves in order to succeed.

Building confidence in all of your players is critical if they're going to successfully handle the pressures that come with games - never mind the big situations or the big games. Fortunately there are some things we can do to help our players strengthen their confidence. Asking them to tell you something they did that was GOOD before allowing them to run off the litany of bad things they think they did, is one thing that really helps.

A great exercise to do with your players, that's taken directly out of my book A Coaches Guide to Creating Team Chemistry, to help them improve their confidence and belief in themselves is called I've Got Your Back:

1. Give each player (you and your assistants included) a piece of notebook paper and a pen (a Sharpie will work better than a regular pen. It's a magic marker-type pen.
2. Have everyone put their name on the top of their paper and then tape that sheet of paper to their back. They'll have to help each other to get everyone's paper taped on. White athletic tape works the best for this.
3. Tell everyone they need to go around and write one of the following on everyone's back:
   • What you like about them being on this team? (this can be very general).
   • What you like about them as a player? (this must be ballfield related. Nice smile or great teeth doesn't cut it here).
   • Why you're glad they're on this team?
4. Once everyone is finished, have them remove their sheets - read them - then turn them in to you. You'll need to make copies of each and file them away for the future. Once you've copied them return the original to each player so she can be reminded how valuable she is to the team.

Check out our Team Chemistry Book for more details on helping build your players confidence and for more great confidence building exercises - and let's all work to be confidence makers instead of confidence breakers!