Competition Differences - Men vs. Women

If the questions above ring as true and loud for you as being in the Bell tower at the Chester Cathedral at midnight you've stumbled into the hidden world of team sports and are probably discovering that men and women handle things VERY differently. Things like competition, success, even trying your hardest are necessary in order to win and yet they are issues that can be handled very differently by men and women. Because so many softball coaches are men and almost all softball players (at the youth level) are women I thought I'd start an on-going section that highlights how the differences between us affect competition and the softball team environment. Of course I'll be generalizing as not every single person will fall into their specific column, but it does give us more insight into why we see some of the things we see on the softball field.

Men see interactions with others like a totem pole - they're taught to compete against each other and to work their way up the totem pole. Men feel their status is basically derived from how well they perform, not how well they connect with others. Women relate to others like a spider web - they focus on creating strong connections instead of trying to beat the others, so woman feel their status results from acceptance (how people like them) and not so much from how well they perform.

As a result the team sport setting is a great social opportunity to many young girls instead of the cut-throat competitive setting many coaches want it to be. And it's also why you will often hear a female player that was just criticized or reprimanded say something like, "why don't you like me anymore?". A man thinks, "what? of course I still like you, what makes you think I don't?", and the woman thinks that because she let you down or disappointed you that you don't accept her anymore.

Next issue we'll look at how something as simple as Video Tape can be viewed in two totally different ways.

For more information on some great ways to work with your players to create better understand and stronger team bonds, check out our book A Coaches Guide to Creating Team Chemistry: Tips on Coaching Female Athletes.